As we count down the hours to the end of 2020 and sing the popular ‘Auld Lang Syne’ song, I found myself reminiscing on events (the good and the bad).
My mind did its annual run through on the things that happened and the decisions made – not only for the year but the years that had passed. As naturally as it gets, I cannot help myself and thought (with the consequences in mind from my actions) that there were checkpoints where things could have been delayed or even better off not being pursued.
“If only, I had…”
“If I would have done it first, …”
“If I could have…”
“If I have that job opportunity, …”
Curious how many cope with the guilt and overthinking, here I share the 4 steps:
- Awareness (1): Acknowledge that we cannot alter the past, and work to let go of the pain.
- The present (2): We fear the future; We regret the past; but we live for the moment. Work to find peace or enjoy the current moment/time.
Gratitude, the practice of mindfulness (3): What do I have now to be grateful for? (https://nourishingthelifemap.com/as-life-gets-busy-i-began-to-learn-about-these-3-things/)
Seek internal wisdom from within: Question to self: What has made you happy – prior to today? What were you engaging or working on at that point in time?
Could it be / in your:
- Childhood, teens, extended relatives, life in your youth days to ~20 years old of age (@Year pillar)
- Job, parents, family, something that you spend 70-80% of the time on, life at ~20 to ~40 years old of age (@Month pillar)
- Close friends, home, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, life at ~40 to ~60 years old of age (@Day pillar)
- Hobby, investment, creative thoughts/inspirations, children, life at ~60 senior age (@Hour pillar)
Conclusion
Everyone would have gone through a challenging phase of his/her life – feeling lost and crappy and questioning every “what-if” and “if-only”.
Out with the old and in with the new, we can learn to take control of our lives – one step at a time towards contentment.
May everyone have an awesome 2021!
Stay tuned for the next article!
Take care, and stay safe and healthy!
References:
- Morin, A. (2016). 6 Tips to Stop Overthinking. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201602/6-tips-stop-overthinking
- Winter, E. (2016). Why Is It Hard to Live for the Moment. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/feeling-smart/201609/why-is-it-hard-live-the-moment
- CORDARO, D. (2020). What If You Pursued Contentment Rather Than Happiness? Mind & Body. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_if_you_pursued_contentment_rather_than_happiness
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